The Pick Up Artist
by SnowLion no Miko
Summary: ..."Did it hurt?"..."What?"..."When you fell from Heaven, did it hurt?"... Gaara fails miserably in his attempt to hit on our favorite medic-nin. GaaSaku, oneshot


_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Naruto! _

_**Summary: "Did it hurt?"..."What?"..."When you fell from Heaven, did it hurt?" Gaara fails miserably in his attempt to hit on our favorite medic-nin. GaaSaku, oneshot**_

_Yes, I couldn't resist! I'm sooo sorry! I just wanted to do this idea soooo bad! Because I always imagined as Gaara being so innocent about things like women and everything like that, and not knowing what the hell is going on... Yeah, anyway. I hope you enjoy this! I realized I haven't done a GaaSaku, when I really LOVE the pairing. So here's the first attempt! _

* * *

**The Pick Up Artist**

* * *

"Sakura."

The pink haired girl turned, her emerald orbs catching the light as she did so, causing them to sparkle. She pushed a strand of her short locks behind her ear, looking at him quizzically, "Oh, hello, Gaara." She grinned in a charming manner toward the red haired Kazekage.

Sabaku no Gaara gulped, searching his mind for the information he had gotten from his brother, the Kyuubi container, and many others, including - most embarrassingly, his own sister, and not to mention the lazy Leaf shinobi she was dating. "Uh...ah..."

Sakura blinked in confusion. This was strange. The mighty Gaara at a loss for words? _Definitely _strange. "Are you..._alright_?"

Gaara nodded curtly, then swallowed his embarrassment.

"Did it hurt?" He began.

"What?" Bewilderment became more prominent in her forest green depths.

The handsome red haired man inhaled deeply before continuing.

"When you fell from Heaven, did it hurt?"

It was quiet..._so_quiet. Crickets could have been heard if Kankuro hadn't shouted, "Get _in there_, little bro!"

Sakura's face had gotten red; Gaara thought it was due to his question. Either that, or about what his _moronic _brother had just blurted out. Gaara threw him a glare that even Itachi would be scared of.

But a pleasant sound made him turn back around to face the Haruno girl.

Sakura was..._laughing_.

At him!

_Laughing_!

Gaara then resolved that his sister - and all who had helped him with this - must _die_.

* * *

Several Hours Earlier

* * *

Gaara couldn't believe what he was doing.

He was standing at the door to Kankuro's room, a pale hand paused in mid-air as he contemplated whether to knock and get it over with or to run like a bitch back to his quarters before Kankuro noticed and pretend like this thought had never crossed his mind.

The door opened, cancelling the latter idea, one that he was disappointed that he couldn't have carried out.

"Ah, Gaara!" Kankuro said exuberantly.

Gaara quickly clamped a hand over his elder brother's mouth, "Shh!"

"Mmmph?" Kankuro mumbled with his eyes wide. He knew it. His time had come. Gaara had finally lost his patience with him and his puppet scaring him at night. He was going to die. And he was sure it was going to be painful.

"Don't alert the whole world," Gaara scolded, his emerald orbs harsh, "I don't want people to know I'm here."

By this point, Kankuro had carefully removed the very had that could kill him from his mouth and motioned for his younger brother to come in, "What do you want, Gaara?"

The red haired man walked into Kankuro's room somewhat reluctantly, eyeing the entire place suspiciously. He knew that his brother was a freak for puppets and that anywhere in his _puppet lair_ there would be a few of the bastards with strings waiting...waiting...

Sure enough, Karasu was sitting on his bed, a comb near his side. Gaara shivered and sent a quizzical look in his brother's direction, "Kankuro?"

The larger man sweatdropped, "I was combing his hair."

Gaara resisted the urge to slap his own forehead due to the cloud of stupidity that had just settled over the room.

"Kankuro! Look what I found!"

Gaara stiffened at the familiar voice that suddenly permeated the silence of Kankuro's room.

Uzumaki Naruto aka "The Future Hokage" stood happily, grinning ear to ear, with a girly kimono the size for a doll in his hands, "Look! We can dress Karasu in this! Oh, Sakura-chan would love it!" The blonde chuckled brightly, his azure orbs closed in mirth. Gaara looked at him with a 'what the _hell_?' look, slack jawed, as the Uzumaki boy approached the two brothers.

"Oh, it's the Kazekage himself!" Naruto announced brightly. "What brings you here, Gaara?"

"I should be asking you the same question."

"Kankuro invited me and Shikamaru for a sleepover!" The blonde Leaf-nin said, tossing the doll's kimono onto the bed beside the intensely creepy Karasu. "And we figured since we were sent here by Tsunade to give you those peace documents, then...well, why not have a little fun?"

_Oh yes, that's not gay at all. _Gaara resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He had always wondered about his brother in that aspect...

"Where is the Nara boy, anyway?" Gaara opted to say instead, looking from the blonde to his brown haired brother and then back again, realizing that the cloud-gazing boy was no where to be found.

"Temari took him to her room to play Twister!" Naruto exclaimed without a sign of embarrassment.

Gaara and Kankuro shuddered.

Oh, yes, they knew what exactly was going on.

If the handcuffs were any indication of what was going on, both the men pitied - or maybe envied - Nara Shikamaru at this very moment.

Kankuro shook his head swiftly, to rid himself of any images that Naruto had given him, "Anyway, little bro, what did you come to my room for in the first place?"

Gaara snapped his mouth shut, not willing to give out the details now that he knew Naruto was in the room with them.

Big, innocent, cerulean eyes peered at the red haired shinobi in curiosity.

Well, let's just hope curiosity wouldn't kill the Kyuubi.

"I...wanted some...advice?" Gaara winced as he completed his statement as a question.

Kankuro looked at him in wonder, "Advice? From me? Oh, little bro, I'm honored!" The puppet master spread his arms out, searching for an embrace from his brother.

"Kankuro, you know better." Gaara warned.

The elder man stopped in his tracks, remembering when he had last given his brother a hug. He had to bring every skilled medic in Suna to help him. The memory still haunted him, and Kankuro shuddered in remorse and terror. That thought had fled his mind as soon as Naruto pumped a fist in the air with childlike enthusiasm. "Gaara, I'll help too!"

"Uh..." Gaara didn't know about that...didn't the Uzumaki used to have a crush on Sakura? He voiced his thoughts (or most of them), "I don't know about that, Naruto."

The blonde cocked his head to one side, staring quizzically into calm, yet somehow anxious green depths, "Why's that?"

"Because of the person it includes..."

"Sakura!" Kankuro exclaimed without a second thought, "It's Sakura, isn't it?"

Gaara glared. "What...?"

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto repeated the puppet tamer's previous statement, "Why would you want advice on Sakura-chan?"

"I - "

The red haired shinobi was interrupted by his brother, who smirked, "Oh...I get it." Kankuro started, giving Gaara a _provocative _look, "Our favorite Kazekage wants to...be Sakura's man!"

The green eyed Sand-nin sent Kankuro another Gaara-patented glare of sheer terror. He growled, "Kankuro..."

Naruto looked confused, but smiled, his eyes closing in mirth as he did so, "Oh, that's alright, Gaara! I'll be sure to help you!"

"What?" Gaara was truly at a loss for words. And even before he thought his next question, the bright blonde had answered him.

Naruto waved a hand in dismissal, "Oh, I used to be infatuated with her, yes. But we both realized after a date, after I had kissed her actually, that we were like brother and sister. I still love her with all my heart, but not in that way. I've got Hinata-chan for that!" He grinned his famous grin.

Anyone who didn't love the loud, yet sweetly innocent blonde had to be an idiot. Sakura, Gaara knew, reciprocated those feelings of sibling love. And he knew that those were strong...so strong he didn't know if what he had in plan could ever top them. But, hell, Gaara figured he could at least give it a try. If she laughed at him, she laughed at him. Yeah, it would make him feel bad, but...well, it was better than never knowing. And he knew that Sakura was just a good enough person to not laugh at him for his looks or anything...

He shook his head slightly, strands of scarlet swaying slightly as he did so.

"So..." Naruto said, clapping his hands, "...for starters - do _not_, and I mean that as seriously as possible, make fun of Sakura-chan's forehead. She _will _punch you. It _will _hurt like hell."

Kankuro took out a spiral bound notebook from his desk, plus a few pencils, and began to write.

"Kankuro, what are you doing?" Gaara asked skeptically.

"Taking notes." Kankuro replied, looking as serious as ever, "Hell, this ain't no random kunoichi from Suna, this is _Haruno Sakura_. You gotta remember these things!"

Naruto nodded in agreement before continuing, "Now, never, _never _mention _teme's _name in front of her. Yes, it might be five years since he left, but she still doesn't like hearing his name."

Kankuro scribbled heavily on his notepad, "Do...not...mention Sasuke." He murmured as he wrote, as if trying to remember it all to put on the page.

"Let's see..." Naruto tried to rack his brain for some information, "Do not challenge her to a bet. That's something she's inherited from Tsunade-baachan. She _will _lose. She _will _hit you. Again."

As Kankuro wrote on the sheet of paper, Gaara pondered all this in his head.

Naruto rattled off some other random things. Things that Gaara sure as hell had never though about bringing up to the pink haired kunoichi. But when he was done, Kankuro had a full page and a half, front and back, filled with notes on the medic-nin that Gaara was so set after. The Sand-nin was now extremely grateful that Naruto had unexpectedly in Kankuro's room for his little "talk".

The blonde clapped his hands before grinning in excitement, "So...go get 'er, tiger! Or should I say tanuki?"

Gaara glared playfully at the blue eyed nin, "Right..."

It was silent for a moment, until the aforementioned Kazekage broke it.

"So...are there any..._lines_?"

Naruto quirked a brow, while Kankuro was turning purple from trying not to laugh.

Suddenly, realization hit Naruto like a ton of bricks, "Oh! Lines! I know what you're talking about now! Hm...let's see..."

Before Naruto could get the words out, Shikamaru and Temari came bursting through the door. Temari was clad in the lazy-nin's jacket and a pair of baggy pants. Shikamaru had only a skin tight shirt on and a pair of khaki shorts. Kankuro grinned, "Hey, love birds!"

The puppet master's response was met with a fist colliding on his thick skull and a sneering Temari glaring at him, "Shut up, brother."

Shikamaru's arm had wrapped around the sandy blonde's waist. The pineapple head looked indifferent to whatever was going on, "Troublesome..."

"Shikamaru!" Naruto exclaimed as if he had just had an epiphany, "Hey, do you know any lines?"

"Lines?"

"Pick up lines!" Kankuro burst out, holding his throbbing cranium, "For _Gaara_."

Gaara cringed at his name and at the lilting, teasing tone that Kankuro had used when saying it.

Temari put a slender hand to her mouth to stifle a snicker, "Gaara...wants a pick up line? For who? Matsuri?"

"No." Came Gaara's flat response.

"It's Sakura!"

The blonde kunoichi looked at her brother, "No...Kankuro, seriously?" She moved her stormy, cerulean eyes over to the Kazekage, "Gaara...you want a pick up line for Sakura? _Haruno Sakura_?"

Gaara was beginning to wonder what was the fascination with saying her whole name.

"Hm..." Temari put a hand to her chin in deep thought before stiffening with realization and pounding her slight fist into the palm of her other hand, "Oh, I know! Shikamaru, what's that one you used on me?"

The lazy shinobi yawned and scratched his head, "Well...it went something like..." His lips pursed in thought, "_Hey, baby, did it hurt when you fell from Heaven_?"

"For your sake, Gaara, I'd reword that," Temari said, smirking playfully, "Because you saying 'baby'...well, that's scary beyond all reason."

"I'll take that into consideration," Gaara said, voice filled with sarcasm so thick someone could drown in it. He walked gracefully over to the door and opened it. Next, he said in a soft voice that seeped gratitude, despite the red haired ninja's will for it to not show, "Thanks."

With that, the door closed behind him.

It was silent, until...

"My little bro! The player!"

Gaara cringed, but smiled at both his siblings's excitement. His small smile emerged fully when he pictured the pretty, pink haired kunoichi, her large green eyes staring in wonder at his question...

He couldn't help but feel a little lighter as he walked back to his chambers.

* * *

Several Hours Later

* * *

There was no question about it, the lightness he felt earlier was completely and utterly _gone_.

Gaara turned and stormed regally - him being Kazekage and all, he must storm _regally_, after all - out of the small bar where he attempted to mack it up with the prominent medic-nin, the cherry blossom, the pink haired kunoichi, the emerald eyed...

The red haired Kazekage shook his head in a fierce manner, trying to not think about what had just happened. The sting of being laughed at hurt, it stung at him, irritated wounds that he had thought had healed over time. His fist was clenched into a tight ball, fingernails digging into the flesh of his palm. Blood trickled through his fingers at a slow rate. It wasn't much, but it was noticeable against the ghostly paleness of his skin.

He reared his hand back and released all the tension he felt into one solid blow into the wall of the nearest building. A loud cracking noise was heard, ringing in his ears. The stinging afterward in his knuckles was nothing compared to the _anger_, the _humiliation _he felt when Sakura's chime-like laughter at him echoed through his subconscious for the first time.

_Dammit!_

He was surely going to rip that pineapple off of the top of Shikamaru's head.

Surprisingly Gaara had forgotten how much fun rage could be.

He was too absorbed in his thoughts to realize that he was wandering off into space, into the darkness of night.

It was a simple question. What was the deal? Why didn't she answer? Even now, Gaara was a little bewildered as to why this..._line_ had worked. It was a strange question, because technically no one can fall out of Heaven. And it wouldn't hurt them, anyway, since they would be dead and...

All the confusing aspects of the stupid, unnecessary question ran through his mind as he kept his steady pace, his fist now throbbing. He looked down at his hand; it was swollen, most definitely broken.

"Gaara!"

The shocked jolt caused by her voice was enough to get the red haired man to stop in his tracks. Gaara knew it was her, just by the sound of her voice, the quick strides she took to keep up with him, and the concern deep in her feminine tone.

He finally turned around when he felt her gentle hand on his shoulder. "Gaara...are you okay?"

His forest green eyes connected with her larger ones. The attractive man responded monosyllabically, "Hm."

The cause of all his troubles sighed as she crossed her arms loosely over her chest; she gave him a skeptical look that seemed to penetrate him. "Wow, a man of so many words... Just like some others I know."

"I'm not like _him_." Gaara said, looking her up and down, trying to judge her mood by her body language. It was then, in the middle of his gazing, that he realized he had broken the second rule...

_"Do not mention teme's name!"_

The red haired shinobi cringed lightly, waiting for her to hit him, and for it to hurt, as Naruto so gracefully put it. But no punch ever came. Instead, Gaara heard a contented giggle, and Sakura's voice threw all his worries out of the way. She was smiling, "I know. And I'm glad for that."

Their eyes locked underneath the moonlit Suna sky, and it was strange to Gaara how right this felt.

Sakura's eyes would have connected with his own for longer, but her educated orbs looked down at his swollen hand, "Oh, no! What happened?"

Gaara looked at her in wonder as she took his injured limb in her hands, looking over it with carefully trained medic's eyes. Some of his blood rubbed off onto her pale fingers, but she didn't seem to mind in the least. He saw her eyes close, and a warm, comforting light surrounded his hand, soothing and nurturing his broken hand back into perfect condition. The whole process took less than a few seconds, and Gaara was truly impressed at how far Sakura had come in her studies.

Sakura looked at his hand, smiled, and then looked into his eyes, "There. All better now."

She hadn't let go of his hand.

Gaara felt his heart start to beat overtime, which was strange because this is _Gaara _we're talking about.

They stared into each other's eyes for a moment, before Sakura ventured the first question, "You shouldn't give up so easily, ya know."

The Kazekage looked at her quizzically, "What?"

"You were hitting on me, right?"

"No, I do not recollect throwing a punch at you."

Sakura giggled again, that melodic, comforting, delicate tinkling of a laugh that was so..._her_.

"I _meant_," Sakura began, her eyes connecting with his once again, "That line you used."

"Oh. That."

The pink haired kunoichi laughed once again at his answer. "Well, all I'm saying is that you automatically assumed I rejected you because I started laughing. Then you come out here and start beating up walls and breaking bones and I have to come out here to fix you..."

Gaara looked at her strangely.

"...and, well..." Sakura looked as if she was having a hard time finding the right words, "...what I'm trying to say is the reason I laughed is because I've only heard lines like that in moves. And, well, they were _bad _movies. Plus, it was so random and it didn't feel like something you would say..."

"And?"

"And..." The medic-nin looked, again, at a loss for words, "...well, just because it was a bad line doesn't mean the feelings..." She growled, aggravated at herself, "It doesn't mean that I don't like _you_!"

"It just means that the line was bad."

"Yes!"

Gaara looked down at Sakura, whose grip had tightened around his hand, fingers interlacing with his own. Her face was red and flustered, eyes diverted from his piercing gaze, the brows pulled together in a frustrated state. Her hair blew this way and that with the oncoming wind. The Kazekage then was the one tightening his grip on her own hand.

"Gaara, aren't you going to say anything?"

Nothing.

"Say _something_, plea - "

Nothing was said. Gaara used his free hand to grasp the small of her back, pulling her closer. His hand was kept firmly in her grasp as his lips met hers in a passion filled kiss. His lips molded to fit hers, kneading with her own. Their hands remained intertwined, even when Sakura reached up to touch the side of his cheek with her own free hand. The two kissed underneath the star filled sky, and Gaara was wondering what he had been missing by not making a move sooner. He murmured her name against her lips, and he felt Sakura's plump mouth curve into a smile.

He found himself in a full-out great mood when they parted, gasping for air.

Sakura looked at him, cheeks flushed, eyes soft but with an undeniable tinge of happiness hidden in them.

The two just stared into each other's eyes for a moment, reveling in the moment they just shared.

Again, Sakura found herself giggling.

"What is it?"

"Ya know...I'm glad for that cheesy line." Sakura said before motioning to their hands, which were still tangled with each other, "Without it, this wouldn't have ever happened."

Gaara was silent. He focused his gaze upon the starry night before looking down to meet a pair of emerald eyes that were even more dazzling than any of those stars in that black canvas of night.

"Me too."

Sakura stood on her tiptoes to brush her lips on his cheek, sweet breath lingering there. "Just don't assume any more, because you know what they say... To assume makes an ass out of you and me."

Gaara looked at her quizzically, "I don't get it."

Sakura feigned annoyance, "I have a lot of work to do."

The red haired Kazekage dipped his head and kissed the crown of her forehead. He felt her blush with the contact, obviously not used to his kisses. She giggled and then sighed.

It was then he knew that he was in for a rather interesting relationship with Haruno Sakura.

* * *

_**End.**_

_It's done! Done, done, done! Aren't you all happy that this new fic is done! I know I am. I thought it was getting rather lengthy, but I said oh well! It's fine! No worries there, mates! (I soooo envy the people of Australia for being able to pull that off.) Well, it's my first GaaSaku, so please be kind with your reviews. It's a Romance/HUMOR so it's not supposed to be take too seriously. So I hope y'all won't take it as seriously as...well, just __**don't**__! Lol. _

_Okay, the whole "assume" thing came from this quote I saw. It said: "To assume makes an ass out of u and me." Get it? Assume equals ass plus u plus me! Yeah, I'm stupid. Lol._

_Alright, so please, please, please review! I loooove feedback!_

_Arigato and spread the GaaSaku lurv!_


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